I Choose You

Perjalanannya masih jauh, masih panjang. Banyak sekali yang patah. Banyak sekali yang gagal. Dan banyak sekali yang berakhir dengan “ya udahlah ... mau gimana lagi?”. Butuh banyak waktu untuk sembuh, ada banyak sekali keributan di kepala yang rasanya ingin dibagi sedikit saja dengan orang lain. Tapi rasanya ... lebih baik menyimpannya sendirian daripada membagikannya pada mereka yang tidak mau memahami keadaan. Mungkin nanti aku akan mencoba lebih membuka diri dan menulisakan harap lagi tapi tidak hari ini. Beberapa kegagalan juga perlu peratapan secukupnya, bukan?. Ahhhh sudah lama sekali deraian air mata ini tertahan dan kali ini aku menumpahkannya bersama derasnya air hujan.

Do you need hug?

What? Sontak suara dan rangkulan itu membuat aku tersadar dari lamunan panjang masa lalu, seraya membalikan diri, memandang bingung sosok dengan berwajah sendu yang berdiri tegap didepanku. Ternyata sedarilama dia memperhatikanku, hanya karena aku sedang asyik dengan duniaku, sehingga tidak menyadari kehadirannya.

x : ... i love you

y : where?

x : what?

y: show me! where is this love? because, i can't see it ..

i can't touch it. you know, i can't feel it. i can hear some words but, i can't do anything with your empty words. so, no matter what you say right now, it's just too late.

x: please don't do this!

y : it is done.

x : i choose you.

I am simply thankful for your existence-whether I am meant to be a part of it or not. I wonder if this is how people always get close they heal each other's wounds, they repair the broken skin with smile and heart.

If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.

Where I see nothing but grey and disappointment, you find colour. Your hands sculpt beautiful art, but you are more breathaking than any piece. Seeing you looking at the rain, dancing down the street, trying not to laugh. That's how know divinity exists because no being so lovely could ever have been formed through happenstance. For all the wondrous art your hands from, the greatest gift you could ever bestow is your existence and company.

Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are.